It’s NOT selfish, it’s being self full

To live a happy, balanced life where we are able to care for others, be productive, juggle all our different roles with as much ease as possible, self care must be factored in.

So many people struggle with this. The main reason that I hear  why people struggle with this is “Lack of time”. Here are some actual quotes from people I have worked with:

“I have such a lack of time, I make rushed decisions that have a negative impact on the kids, my house is chaotic and messy, its overwhelming and I feel guilt”.

“There just is not enough time in the day, I feel like I am the only one holding it together, struggling to play lots of different roles”

“I feel pressured everyday, I am always rushing and the daily routines take over, I feel guilty about taking time for me”

As a self employed single mum myself, I completely understand these reasons. The only difference here for me is that I don’t feel guilty, because I understand how important self care is, so when the feeling of pressure and being stressed becomes present, I MAKE time for some self care as soon as it is possible, it is a priority so these feelings can be released and do not build. The best thing we can do to be productive in our jobs, as parents/carers, friends, partners is to take care of ourselves, no matter what, the best we can, this is key to us being and doing our best for others.  I actually believe that feeling guilty about doing this, is really a feeling of guilt that we know we need to do something for ourselves and we don’t.

It is without doubt difficult for many to switch off in the modern world we live in. However it is essential for balanced all over Wellbeing.  On the self care continuum picture I have included we can see the scale of one end is selfless and the other is selfish. The middle bit is where we are balanced, self full and functioning at our happiest, healthiest and most able to give to others. If you are feeling drained, overworked, stressed, continuously busy or even just plain tired, it is likely that you need to take some steps towards the other end of the scale to get the middle. Is this selfish? no it’s necessary. Does it feel selfish? Here is where giving ourselves permission can work well, which is easier to do when we understand why we need to do it. To neglect this brings unhappiness, low self esteem and resentment. No one wants to feel like that.

So what is self care? Self care is something provided for you, by LINK you. It is identifying your own needs and taking steps to meet them. It is balancing the stress and activity of daily life with activities that bring a sense of wellbeing to mind and body. What does that look like for you?  A client of mine who has a high level job and two phones has recently started putting her work phone at the back of her knicker drawer, when she gets home. This has made a huge difference to her sense of wellbeing as she is able to mentally let go. She identified her needs and took steps to meet them. Also it did not take up any time, it gave her time

Taking the action to be self full is treating yourself a worthwhile person and you are a worthwhile person. It is showing yourself that you are valuable, competent and deserving and you ARE all these things. If you struggle with the how and making time, please get in touch.  I would love to hear your comments on how you get self full too.

I am thinking of doing a live facebook and actually showing works for me, how I fit it in and sharing the mindset that makes it possible, in the  moment as I am doing it.  It feels a little scary though.

If you aren’t already following my facebook page then head over and take a look, follow this LINK

Have a wonderful self full weekend